Kiss the Pain Away
by bleedingrose0688
Summary: After a work-related accident, Murphy is left in the hospital to recover. Red has been spending all of her free time with him and Connor has been feeling neglected. A night of drinking leads to the discovery of old scars and the memories of the pain they bring.


_Author's Note: First of all I want to say thank you to everyone who's read_ Her Defenses _as well as_ Decisions, decisions. _I have not given up on Decisions, actually working on getting the next chapter written out, however the muses were calling and were itching for some alone time with Connor. Hope you all enjoy and make sure you drop a line or two in the box at the bottom of the page._

"Connor, why am I up here? You know I'd rather be at the hospital right now."

"I know yer worried about Murph but he's fine, 'sides you need a break and honestly I need some time with ya. Yer giving all yer extra time and attention ta Murph and I get nothing fer me own suffering. Not fair in da least if ya ask me."

"I know and I'm sorry, I know you're hurting not having your brother-"

"Not just dat, but yer too wrapped up in my brudder ta even know what's in front of ya. Just ferget it, go on get da fuck outta here."

Sighing I plopped down on the moth eaten couch and buried my face in my hands. I was so conflicted with what to do in this moment. Connor was more than right that I had been spending a lot more time with Murphy and he was just being pushed to the side. Deep down I knew Murphy would be alright but that didn't mean I still couldn't worry.

"Connor, c'mere." He regarded me for a moment before walking around from the door to the front of the couch, crouching down until our eyes met. "I know I haven't been the least bit fair to you, especially when it comes to dividing my time somewhat evenly between the two of you. I'm sorry if you think that I care about Murphy more than I do about you. It can't be further than the truth, I care about both of you immensely however when one of you is put in a life or death situation like this I can't help but-"

I started choking on my words as I saw the hurt reflected in Connor's face. I knew I wasn't making things any better but at least I was trying to explain it the best I could from my view point.

"Point is, is that when someone I care about is hurt bad enough it warrants a trip to the hospital I get scared. Scared that I'm never gonna see 'em again and I feel like I _have_ to be there to put my mind at ease. God forbid anything ever happens to either of you I don't…I…"

Shaking my head I couldn't bring myself to finish my thought, it was just too painful to think about. Since meeting the twins I really don't know what I would do if I lost either of them. Somehow or other they both got under my skin, they both got inside my head.

"You brought me up here for a reason Connor, not just to force me to spend some much needed time with you."

"Murph said he was a bit tired of ya smothering him, said he felt like he was fucking six again and Ma went nuts after he fell of his bike and broke his arm."

"Don't know if I should be insulted or take that as a compliment." I joked, mustering a half-hearted laugh.

"Take it how ya want, makes no nevermind ta me." Connor muttered getting to his feet and walking to the fridge. "Ya want one?" he asked pulling a beer from inside and waving it.

"Why not? How did Murphy break his arm?"

Running a hand through his hair, Connor sighed heavily; it wasn't my intention to focus solely on Murphy and his extensive history of injuries. I was just curious.

"We were riding our bikes home from school with a few friends, Murph wanted ta race and whoever won got ta walk Molly Fitzgerald to school and back home da next day, da loser had ta do da other's chores fer a week. We took off down da road, he had me beat by a mile until he hit da gravel; lost control of his bike and fell off. Started howling so I started hauling ass, got ta where he was and his arm was trapped under da bars and his shoelaces were tangled up in da pedals. He starts shouting about his arm hurting, pretty bad when he starts telling me ta go get Ma. Told da boys ta go on up ta da house and get her fer me while I tried ta get his foot untangled. Got his foot out and we could hear Ma screaming half a mile down da road. First time I ever saw Murph actually cry."

"What was the verdict?"

"Dumbass broke his arm, doc said it was a clean break and would heal no problem. Put a cast on him and sent us home. Ma of course t'rew a fucking fit asking what wild hair he got us his arse ta make him do somet'ing dat damn stupid. Told her we were just having some fun, she shook her head and told us not ta make a habit of it."

"Who won? I know you two wouldn't let a bet go."

"Murph won and surprisingly I was okay with it, he would've had me beat fair and square even if he never fell. Watched him walk up ta Molly's door da next morning happy as could be, showing off his cast."

"And?"

"She turned him down, her Ma called her out sick dat day. Still had ta do his fucking chores fer a week."

Connor picked the remote up from between the seat cushions turning the t.v. on and flipping through the channels until he settled on something we could both agree on. We both popped the tops on our beers and leaned back on the couch to get comfortable. Eventually, after the movie went to commercial, I kicked my shoes off and brought my feet up on the couch. Leaning back against the arm rest I watched Connor, wondering what he was thinking, wondering if he and Murphy could have silent conversations with each other with this much distance between them.

"What? Got somet'ing on me face?"

I laughed a little as he brought a hand up to wipe away something that wasn't there.

"No, I was just thinking."

"About?"

"What kind of shit you got yourself into when you were a kid, how many times you won a bet and Murphy had to do your chores."

"Ya don't wanna hear about dat, yer only asking ta try and be fair."

"I really do want to know, you're always talking about the shit Murphy did but you never talk about what you did. I wanna see some scars."

"I'll show ya mine if ya show me yers."

I thought for a moment before I set my empty beer can on the floor. Bringing a hand to my head, I pushed my hair back to reveal the scar that sat in the middle of my forehead.

"When I was a baby I was trying to climb up on the bench seat to look out the window, babysitter started hollering at me to get down; I got scared, fell, and cracked my head on the edge of the seat. Babysitter called both my parents; they rushed me off to the E.R. and when we got there the nurses had to strap me down to a board to keep from moving around too much. Stitched me up and sent me home."

"Huh, was wondering where dat one came from." Rolling the sleeve up on his right arm he revealed a small, jagged linear scar probably about an inch or so long. "When we were five Ma kicked us out of da house, told us not ta come back until dinner, she was sick of us being in da house all day. It was da last summer before we started school. We got a few friends together and some cane poles we borrowed from Jack Malone's Da, went down to da river ta do some fishing. I was trying ta cast me line out and da hook got caught in me arm, didn't know about the barbs or how dey worked so when Murph tried getting da damn t'ing out he ended up ripping it out. Got home dat night and Ma t'rew a fit going on about infection and all dat shit. Cleaned it up and slapped a bandage on it."

"You make it sound like your Ma doesn't care anything about either of ya."

"She does, she's just old school. Ya know, tough love, hard head, soft heart, dat sorta t'ing."

I nodded in agreement and returned my attention back to the movie as the final commercial faded to black. My eyes were diverted from the t.v. as the cushions shifted from under me and my feet were carefully moved from their upright position until they came to rest in Connor's lap. His fingers skimming over the tops of my toes.

"How'd ya get dis one?" his thumb gingerly passing over the small scar on my left big toe.

"Before I met my ex my sister, a friend of hers, and I were in Dublin for a week a few years ago, we were walking to the Guinness brewery and my foot kept getting caught in the cobblestones. Don't laugh, it hurt like hell! I was even wearing socks and tennis shoes and I still ended up breaking the nail, blistered my feet, obviously ended up with an itty bitty scar, and top the fucking day off I got sunburnt. You and Murphy can't complain anymore about sunlight bouncing off your lily white asses anymore cause ya know I got ya beat."

"Don't mean ta laugh at ya but dat's pretty bad when ya get a sunburn in Dublin. Was the brewery worth all da pain ya went t'rough?"

"Until we had to walk the three miles back to the train and then another half mile or so back to the hotel. I shit you not, I climbed into the tub to soak for a little bit and as soon as my feet hit the water the steam was rising. Had my sister call down to the front desk to see if they had a first aid kit or something we could borrow so I could at least wrap my toe. Shut up, it's not funny! Jerk."

My small bit of whining fell on deaf ears as Connor continued to laugh at my misfortune.

"Sorry _mo grá_ but it is pretty funny, never known anyone until now who got a sunburn in Ireland, especially when ya consider how much it fucking rains." He mused dropping his head down and placing a light kiss over the scar.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, keep laughing funny man. You wouldn't be laughing if it were your feet all tore up. I think the worse part of it was after the nail broke it ended up bleeding through the sock and I wasn't able to take care of it right away, I had to wait about four hours before I could."

"Why'd ya wait so long?"

"After we left the brewery we went back to the City Centre and walked around for a few hours. Walked down Grafton Street, did a little shopping, stopped by Trinity and saw the Book of Kells and the Old Library. My sister had to practically drag me out of there."

A lazy smile started to spread across my face as I closed my eyes remembering the distinct smell of century old books. What I wouldn't give to be back there again.

"What about that one on your thumb?"

"Work-related accident; shortly after we came over and got da job at da plant we were on da line trimming da fat, Murph was going on and on about somet'ing and next t'ing I know I'm slicing me t'umb instead of a round eye. Boss sent me home, told me not ta come back until I saw a doctor; it was how we met Michael and Sandra, da hospital was the closest place ta home and since we didn't have any money dey worked with us and let us do payments. It was deep enough I got one stitch. Sandra wrapped it up and gave me a note saying I was okay ta go back ta work da next day."

"Awe, poor baby."

Leaning forward I took Connor's hand from my foot and kissed the small scar. Glancing up I caught him huffing out a small laugh, a genuine ear to ear grin across his face as he shook his head a bit. I always loved seeing him smile like that, the corners of his eyes crinkling; it was almost like a bright ray of light shining through the darkness the way his whole face would light up when he would smile like that.

"Dat's a big one, how'd it happen?"

Looking down I saw the scar on my right side he was referring to, it ran about two or three inches long and sat at the junction of where my foot met my ankle.

"It's not the biggest one I have but it is pretty average for me. I was about ten when that one happened, my aunt and uncle were out of town and asked me to go over to their house and water their plants for 'em. They pretty much lived right around the corner from us so our parents were okay with it. My sister went with me one day, we rode our bikes down there, watered the plants and were on our way home, she said let's race and I said okay. I hit a patch of loose rock, lost control and went down hard; skidded on my side for a few feet. Couple of the neighbors were out and saw the whole thing. My sister runs home the rest of the way and got both our parents, the neighbors were trying to keep me still, they called 911 and the paramedics came out. When I skidded there was a chunk of concrete that was already loose and I ended tearing my foot open on that, other than that I was just scraped up."

The smile that Connor once wore started disappearing the longer I talked about that particular scar. His eyes began taking on a sorrowful appearance while the pads of his fingers traced over the scar.

"Sorry it happened ta ya," he said, again dropping his head and placing feather light kisses along the entire length of the scar.

"Don't be, it's part of being a kid. You're supposed to get hurt doing stupid shit. Besides it was my own stupidity that got me that scar in the first place, I wasn't wearing any shoes. I don't mean to sound harsh or anything like that, but what are you doing? Kissing the pain away?"

"Got a problem with it?"

"No, just that no one's ever done that. Except my mom but I think that's a bit different."

Taking his hands from my feet I watched Connor peel his shirt off, tossing it across the room to land God only knows where. Leaning forward he took my hand his, smoothing my thumb down and running the tips of my fingers across the left side of his chest. It was pretty well hidden in his chest hair but the scar tissue it produced could still be felt. It was about the length of my first three fingers.

"We were fifteen or sixteen when it happened, Jack Malone, da kid we went fishing with when we were five, he got pissed cause he t'ought I was trying ta steal his girlfriend, not my fault she found me irresistible. He wanted ta pick a fight so after school we met on da cricket pitch and started t'rowing punches, Murph was on da sidelines taking bets. I had him beat and when I had me back turned he pulled a knife, bastard cut me and Murph tackled him ta da ground, damn near pulverized him. Teachers showed up ta break da fight up but most everyone had already taken off. Went home and Ma found out about da whole t'ing, she wasn't as concerned about me fighting as I t'ought she'd be, she was pretty pissed t'ough about me getting cut. She called down ta Jack's Da, he walked him all da way down ta our house, made him apologize, and told him if he ever caught wind of him fighting again he'd get more den da whipping he already got. Probably should've gotten stitches but Ma didn't have da money ta take me so she closed it best she could and put a bandage over it."

"You really weren't trying to steal his girlfriend, were you? I mean that's pretty low, even for you."

"Nah, I was going out with Molly Fitzgerald at da time."

"The same one Murphy had a crush on?"

"Yep, he claimed ta have outgrown his childhood crush and gave me da go ahead."

Leaning forward I brushed my fingers along the scar, making sure I was in the right spot. I repeated what Connor had done on my foot and ankle by placing a string of light kisses along the scar.

"Kissing da pain away?"

"Got a problem with it?" I teased with a small smile.

"Ya won't hear me complain. C'mon, what else ya got? Surely ya got some of yer own hidden under dat shirt."

His hands played with the hem of my shirt as he brought me closer to him. I sat straddling his lap, the movie completely forgotten as we immersed ourselves in each other. Taking a hold of the shirt's hem he lifted it up over my head, one hand remained on my back as the other traced over the impossibly long scar that that ran from my neck straight down to my stomach.

"Not that one, please don't ask about that one. It's still too fresh to talk about." I pleaded, my bottom lip trembling slightly.

The hand at my back moved across the expanse of skin until the fingers came to rest on the clasp of my bra. Connor quickly had the garment unhooked and slowly dragged it down my arms bringing the full length of the scar into view.

The look in my face must've triggered something in Connor, he only nodded his head while his fingers continued to trace along the scar. I couldn't stop the hiss that escaped from between my teeth as he traced over where the scar ran directly over my heart, perhaps it was just the memory of the amount of pain I was in when it happened, perhaps it was my mind thinking it was still happening, that his fingers were the tip of the knife.

"Wrap yer legs round me." He whispered, wrapping one arm across my back and the other cradling me to him to keep me from falling.

As he got to his feet I placed my hands on either side of his face, searching his eyes for some hint at what he may be thinking or planning at this very moment. I found what I was looking for soon after knowing that it wouldn't take away the earlier neglect that I had showed him but it would at least make up for it a little bit.

My lips captured his in a kiss that caused him to nearly lose his balance, threatening to bring us both to the floor. I broke it off with a small giggle while Connor tried to regain his balance.

"None of dat now, lass, don't wanna add a new set of scars ta da ones ya already have."

"It'd make for an interesting story to tell later on."

"It would but den da next time Murph has ya he'd try ta cover 'em with a few of his own den I'd have ta cover da ones he put on ya."

"What would you say if I told you Murphy has already put a few of his own on me?"

"Has he now? Well den we'll have ta change dat, won't we?"

Connor deposited me on his bed, the hand that was on my back traced along my face, pushing strands of loose hair back. Carefully he leaned forward, pressing his lips to my forehead; from there he worked his way across my face placing well calculated kisses across my face. Connor stopped short of my own lips, pulling back enough to inspect his work thus far. The smirk that played across his features told me all that I needed to know, before I knew what was happening Connor had claimed my lips in his. His teeth gently nibbling on my bottom lip, his tongue probing the inside of my mouth asking permission.

I won't lie and say I'm no stranger to intimacy but let's face it, my ex preferred rough and fast, he never believed in any type of foreplay so Connor taking his time was a complete new and foreign experience for me. Placing my hands on Connor's chest I pushed him back a bit, breaking the kiss.

"What? I do somet'ing wrong? Ya don't want dis?"

"I promise it's not you and I do want this, it's just that…"

"Just what? Talk ta me."

"You'll laugh."

"I won't, cross me heart. If I do ya can beat me with me own belt."

"Don't be giving me any ideas."

A Cheshire cat-like grin started breaking out across his face, his eyes taking on a mischievous look seemingly to allow the idea flit briefly through his mind.

"No one has ever shown me any type of intimacy before. It's always been rough and hurried, no one's ever taken their time with me, not even Murphy." I confessed, dropping my eyes down, my hands nervously playing with the edges of the blankets.

"No one's ever kissed ya like dat before?" he asked, the impish look now gone.

I shook my head in the negative, too embarrassed to bring myself to look Connor in the eyes.

"Murph never took his time with ya all dose times da two of ya have fooled around?"

Again I shook my head no, my hands gripping the blanket a little tighter as the weight of my embarrassment continued to weigh heavily on mind.

"Hey," Connor started, placing a finger under my chin to bring my face up, "ya got not'ing ta be ashamed of. I'll be having a word with Murph tomorrow but ya shouldn't feel like less of a woman because of somet'ing ya have no experience with. I won't be holding it against ya, dis is da 90's and I'm more den certain yer not da only woman on da planet lacking. If God meant fer everyone ta be well-versed in sex he would've created everyone ta already know how ta please each other without having ta communicate what we like and don't like. If it makes ya feel any better, I've never gone hard and fast on a woman right out da gate. I've always taken me time with 'em and gave 'em what dey wanted first."

"Nice guys finish last, huh?" I quipped.

"Somet'ing like dat. If ya feel uncomfortable with somet'ing I need ya ta tell me. I don't want ya ta try and power t'rough it t'inking dat ya have ta keep pace with me. If I start kissing ya like dat again, and ya know I will, just lay back and let Connor do what Connor does best; if ya don't want me shoving me tongue down yer t'roat den I won't until ya tell me yer comfortable with it. I know it may be hard fer ya ta understand but dere's more ta intimacy den touching and kissing, big part of it is communicating. Tell me what ya like, what ya don't like, ask questions. I don't know if you're okay or not unless ya tell me. Had ya not stopped me when ya did I'd probably assume you were alright with what I was doing and would've ventured ta stuffing my hand down yer pants just ta feel how wet ya were. Ta be honest I love it when yer soaking wet, and just so ya know _I've_ never said dat ta any woman before you came along."

As Connor continued to talk to me he laid down on his side so he could get comfortable. I found myself relaxing a bit, though I was still embarrassed in what I was lacking, but Connor was right. If God had meant for everyone to be all knowing in all matters concerning sexual satisfaction he would've imparted that knowledge to us at birth and there would be no need for communication. At some point while Connor was talking he had rested his hand on my hip, making sure to keep a bit of distance between us should I find this manner of touching to be too uncomfortable.

"Why do you love it when I'm that wet? Other than the obvious."

"Ya mean other den when I slide inta ya I don't have ta lube up beforehand?" I nodded with a small smile as I felt my cheeks begin to redden. "I love knowing dat I did dat ta you, I love knowing dat just a touch could bring about dat kind of reaction."

"Connor, with you it's more than a touch that gets me going."

A wide grin broke out across his face, a hint of danger peeking through his eyes. His hand carefully began to travel over my hip and up my side until it came to a stop just under my breast. He moved his fingers lightly over my skin, almost tickling me.

"What exactly really gets ya going?"

"If I tell you, you and Murphy both will be in constant competition with each other."

"How do ya figure dat?" he asked, sliding his hand to my back, drawing me closer until he successfully buried his face in my neck.

"What you do to me is the same as what Murphy does to me." I admitted.

My eyes started drifting shut at the sensation of Connor's mouth working over every inch of visible skin on my neck. Little nips from his teeth turned soothing with his tongue laving over the marks.

"Is dat so?" he questioned, pushing me to my back again. "Well den, I'll just have ta do somet'ing about dat, won't I?"

Connor settled himself between my legs, pulling back only a little to kiss along the length of my scar. He paused just as his lips were pressed to where the line settled directly over my heart; glancing up at me I could see that he was asking permission to keep going, letting me know it was alright to tell him to stop if I wanted to.

I nodded, allowing him to continue kissing down the length of the scar until he reached the top of my navel where it ended. Getting to his knees, Connor grasped my hips, tugging away at the work pants that I had neglected to change out of when I got home earlier in the evening.

" _Tá tú go hálainn_." He muttered, tossing both my pants and panties over his shoulder to lay forgotten on the floor the rest of the night.

"I think you just found a way of no longer making my turn-ons into a competition with your brother." I mused, letting his words and accent take effect.

My back arched in response as Connor pressed his hand between my legs, his thumb came to rest on my clit as he slid two fingers inside of me meeting no resistance. A groan escaped from him as he worked me over; leaning over me, he dropped his head and stole a kiss that left me forgetting my insecurities for the rest of the night.

"If talking in Irish is what gets ya going, I'll make sure ta be doing it more often just ta watch ya squirm."

"Ya know what'll really get me going?"

"What's dat?"

The blue of his eyes steadily disappeared into blackness, his gaze leaving me at a loss for words. Trying to get this train of thought back on the rails was proving to be more difficult, Connor had his fingers crooked the instant he found my G-spot, his thumb keeping the perfect amount of pressure on my clit as it wound in steady circles bringing me closer to my orgasm.

"C'mon, need ya ta focus. If me talking Irish gets ya going, what'll _really_ get ya going?"

"Talk dirty to me."

My head fell back against the pillow as the words escaped me. Shamelessly, a wanton moan got past my lips, my hips rose and fell as Connor brought me dangerously close to the edge.

" _Tá tú_ _ag cailín salach, nach bhfuil tú?"_

"Mmm, more."

" _Thaitníonn leat mo mhéara anseo?"_

"Whatever you just asked, yes. Connor…" I started, reaching a hand out to grasp his arm.

" _Choinneáil do lámha chun tú féin._ " He warned, capturing my wrist and pressing my hand back to the bed. His warning was punctuated with a not so gentle slap to my thigh.

That slap though was my undoing as I came. Hard.

"Note ta self, ya love hearing me talk dirty ta ya in Irish and a bit of a spanking."

"Don't get smug just because you figured out something new."

"Ya know I'm gonna be telling Murph about it tomorrow, right?"

"I figured as much and we both know he'll try it but it's not gonna work."

"What makes ya t'ink it won't be working on ya?"

"He's already tried it. I think he went through at least four languages trying to get a reaction from me and got nowhere. Although he figured out months ago what a good spanking does for me."

Resting my head against the pillow my eyes slowly began to drift shut. Turning onto my side I started getting myself comfortable until a blissfully sharp sting hit my skin. Lifting my head I looked over my shoulder to find Connor ready to reprimand me.

"Hey, don't be falling asleep on me now, I'm not done with ya just yet, we're just getting started. And no more talk of me brudder, yer not allowed ta bring his name up da rest of da night. Dis is my time with ya, not his, dat dirty fucking attention whore will do just about anyt'ing ta keep ya ta himself."

"Not my fault those talented fingers of yours can knock me out in one shot. How do you plan on topping that one?"

"If I told ya it wouldn't be a surprise. Just need ta know if ya trust me as much as ya did da first time." He asked, producing a blindfold seemingly from thin air. "Just answer da question."

I thought for a moment, looking between Connor and the blindfold that dangled off the crook of his index finger. The first time he used a blindfold on me it was kind of a random act, it was me allowing him to explore the various contents of my closet and letting him feel like a kid in a candy store. Or would it be like a man-child in an adult store? I didn't put my full trust in Connor the first time around, mainly because I was looking for a quick fuck. Now that I've spent time with him, I'm still not one hundred percent sure if I trust him or not.

Guess we'll find out…

"I trust you, question is though do _you_ trust _me_?"

"What makes ya t'ink I don't?"

Getting up from my place on the bed, I got to my knees and slowly crawled across the mattress to where Connor was seated. The look of confidence he had was beginning to wane the closer I got to him until we were both kneeling on the mattress face to face. I watched him swallow the lump in his throat; the hand holding the blindfold steadily dropped until it fell off his fingertips and lay forgotten on the floor. My hands found his belt easily, sliding the leather from the loops of his jeans I listened to his breathing increase as I carefully laid it next to me.

"Because you wouldn't be looking at me the way you are if you did."

"Yer not da only person who has issues ya know."

"I know, no need to get defensive. You know I have intimacy issues, what issues do you have?" I asked, sliding the zipper of his jeans down until the ends fell open and the waist started falling from his hips.

"I don't like not being in control. I have ta know what's going on, what's gonna happen next."

"Connor, do you trust me?"

"Aye, I trust ya…what'd ya have in mind?"

Looking around I finally found the blindfold that Connor had dropped, leaning over the edge of the mattress I picked it up in one hand and grasped the belt in the other. Holding both objects I watched as Connor's face began to pale, his Adam's apple bobbing, and his brows knitting in distress.

"I promise, I won't hurt you. You gave me a taste of something no one else ever has before, let me show you what it's like to give up a small bit of control. You say the word and I'll stop, okay?"

Connor couldn't stop himself from looking between the belt and the blindfold, his eyes darted rapidly until they finally came to rest on his belt. Slowly he stretched a hand out until it grasped the leather; carefully he pulled it free from my hand and let it fall to the floor somewhere behind him.

"I'll do da blindfold, but can't do da belt. What is it ya plan on doing?"

"What do you want?"

"You."

I couldn't stop myself from smiling at that a bit. Not only was Connor putting his trust in my hands, but it made my heart swell knowing that he trusted me enough to allow himself to give up one of his senses. They say that when someone loses one sense that the others become heightened, well, as long as Connor can keep himself relaxed this experience should not be too taxing on him.

"Take your pants off and lay back on the pillows."

"Aren't ya gonna blind me first?" Connor asked, slightly confused. None the less he did what I asked and shucked his pants and boxers, crawling around me to get to his pillow.

"I thought I'd give you one last look before I plunged you into darkness. Just promise me that you won't try and power through this, if you want me to stop, tell me."

Connor nodded as he adjusted his pillow one last time; once he was finally comfortable for me to proceed I turned around on the bed to face him fully. He held a look that was a mix of concern and fear, my hope though would be for that expression to change to one of pure, unadulterated bliss as he lost himself in the various sensations he would experience.

Straddling his hips I leaned forward to lift his head a little so I could slid the elastic band of the blindfold around the back of his head, however Connor had a slightly different idea of what should be slid where.

"Never let anyone be on top of before, don't know what da hell I was t'inking." Connor remarked, the tip of his tongue peeking out when he felt that my breasts were in just the right place to allow himself the opportunity to suck on a nipple.

"What do you mean?"

The blindfold came to rest on his forehead but as I tried to pull back to pull the fabric down over his eyes Connor followed, his head lifting completely off the pillow, his hands cupping my breasts as he alternated between one nipple then the other. When one was being sucked the other was being pinched. The two sensations together had me growing wetter than I was when he was talking dirty.

"Less talk, more fun." He commented, pulling his mouth off of me just long enough to bring a hand up to smack the side of one breast.

"If you want more fun, you're gonna have to let me put this on ya and you gotta stop rubbing your dick against me."

"You know ya like it." He relented, laying back down against the pillow, tucking his arms behind his head with a grin. "I see now why Murph likes ya ta be on top, yer beautiful. Can't wait ta see what ya look like riding me."

"Patience is a virtue my dear. You'll get to feel it long before you ever get to see what it is I'm doing. Then again…"

I couldn't stop smiling at the ideas that starting springing forth. Visions of riding Connor while his hands are tied down came first followed by dreams of a more submissive Connor, one who could follow direction without question, one who would put his complete trust and faith in my hands, one…

"What? Yer not having more of dose dirty t'oughts are ya?"

"I'm always thinking dirty thoughts. Now hush up, relax, and enjoy." I told him, leaning forward to pull the blindfold down. "Otherwise I may end up being a cruel woman and never take the blindfold off of you, as far as you know I may just leave it on the whole time and not take it off until after you finish."

I smirked in satisfaction watching Connor at a loss for words. From what I could see of his face he seemed to be a bit intrigued by the idea of being left blindfolded as he came.

Sliding my hands down the sides of his face, I cradled his face watching his lips part just slightly. His breath passed over me as I closed the distance between us. Our lips touched momentarily, his hips coming off the bed, his hands leaving the back of his head to find my hips while he tried to sink himself inside of me.

"Connor, lay down. I promise, you'll have it but not until I say."

"Don't wanna wait." He whined, grudgingly laying back down against the pillow.

"The art of seduction, something I thought you would've mastered by now." I joked, raking my nails down over his chest.

"I'm a master alright, but what does dat have ta do with what we're doing?"

"It has everything to do with what we're doing. It's knowing what you want and giving it to you in a way that takes your breath away."

"Touché"

Readjusting his head, Connor heaved a sigh while he tried to get himself to relax. His hands came to rest at his sides, each taking hold of a section of the blanket as he tried to mentally prepare himself for just about anything.

Knowing that this was his first time relinquishing any type of control I decided to take it easy on him and not draw this out for too long.

"Relax." I reminded him, skimming my fingers over the tops of his hands until he uncurled his fists, releasing the bunched up blanket.

Gently I let my hands roam the length of his arms, trying to get him used to the sense of touch alone. Gradually his breathing started to even out until he heaved a sigh; carefully I worked my down his chest, letting my fingers tangle in his chest hairs pulling softly, listening to his breath hitch. I continued to do this for a little bit, wanting him to go back to a full relaxed state of mind before I did anything further. Wanting to give him every opportunity to say stop if it became too much for him.

"Are you alright? Do you want me to stop?" My hands had just started leaving his chest, working their way down to his stomach when his body began to spasm.

"I'm alright, just a bit ticklish dere is all." His lips quirking into a lop-sided grin, squirming a bit while my fingertips danced over that spot again.

I'll certainly make a mental note of that.

Running my hands back up his chest and over his arms I waited until he was in a state of relaxation once again. After several minutes of rubbing my hands over him another deep sigh escaped past his lips. This time though his face started to relax as well. Bringing my hands to his chest I leaned forward letting our lips barely touch; I listened to Connor breath in deeply, his head coming off the pillow and his lips pressing against mine. Taking one hand from his chest I wrapped my fingers gently around his throat, pushing his head back against the pillow. He groaned in disapproval when our kiss was cut short.

"Keep your hands to yourself."

Connor had just started to run the tips of his fingers along my legs when I had to remind him that, for the time being, I was making the rules. He huffed in frustration but did what he was told.

With my other hand I reached behind me, grasping his cock feeling the veins throb and pulsate. I watched as Connor's face contorted, a hiss escaping through barred teeth; his hips lifting from the mattress as he started thrusting in my hand, the pre-cum that leaked out providing just enough that he wouldn't be going in completely dry.

Leaning back I held him in position and slowly lowered myself onto him. His face began to relax as I took the time I needed to adjust to this intrusion. The tips of his fingers started moving against my legs once more and rather than reprimanding him for it again I let him continue tracing unintelligible patterns across my skin. I started moving against Connor slowly, trying to find a rhythm that would work for both of us.

It didn't take long before we were both panting, my hands had almost left Connor's body completely; they were currently behind me resting just above his knees. My back was arched pushing my breasts forward while I tried to focus on the cadence we had created. Occasionally Connor's voice would break my concentration begging me to let him take the blindfold off. Each time he would ask I would tell him no. Connor wasn't the only person who could come up with a plan. For tonight, my plan was for him to take it off while I was coming.

Lifting one of his hands from my leg I placed it between us, without having to utter a syllable Connor laid his fingers against my lower stomach and placed his thumb on my clit. The hiss that escaped past my lips caused me to push my breasts out further. Clinging tightly to the tops of his legs I ground myself against his thumb until I could feel the pressure steadily increasing.

"Take it off now."

My eyes screwed shut as my head was thrown back, my orgasm violently ripping through me as I felt Connor spilling himself inside of me. Tentatively I felt Connor bring his other hand up off of my leg to slide along my stomach, palming my breast. Not allowing our connection to be broken, Connor carefully sat up on the bed pushing me back onto the mattress in the process. My breathing started picking up once more as Connor began to slowly thrust into me.

"Not gonna last long." I warned as I felt another orgasm building.

"Don't want ya too."

Taking my hands from his hips, Connor interlaced our fingers above my head; the speed of his thrusts picking up as he dropped his head to my shoulder. Moments later I could feel my inner walls begin to flutter, as I started calling out my release Connor's fingers gripped mine harder than before, his hips slamming into mine and finally stilling. His breath washed over me, cooling my sweat drenched skin, both of us fighting to stay conscious but knowing that sleep would soon be calling us both.

After a few minutes Connor pulled me from the end of the bed. I was just getting myself comfortable on his chest when he rolled me onto my side, his hand resting comfortably on my hip and a lop-sided, lazy grin appearing on his face.

"That wasn't too bad, was it?"

"T'ought fer sure you'd drag it out fer longer den dat. But no, dat wasn't too bad."

"I thought about dragging it out but since it was your first time I figured we could maybe build up to that. That is, of course, you want to keep trying new things."

"Always willing ta try somet'ing new," he yawned, "but fer now I t'ink ya wore me out."

Never breaking our connection, Connor drew me closer until he successfully buried his face into my neck and hair. Swinging one leg over mine until my hips were practically digging into his it would seem to me that Connor was trying to meld our bodies together. It seems to me that Connor was wanting to keep this up throughout the night; never slept with someone who fell asleep still buried balls deep inside of me.

"Connor, how did you get those scars on your leg?"

Picking his head up Connor looked around on his body to what it was I was referring to. With it being pitch black inside the room I couldn't see very well what the scar looked like but I could feel the outline of it.

"Don't really feel comfortable saying how dat one happened. Maybe save dat one fer anot'er time."

I nodded as another question came to mind, hoping it would be last for the evening as sleep was calling me further and further into its arms.

"What was the real reason you brought me up here tonight? Other than Murphy wanting a break from me."

"I needed time with ya, been having a hard time adjusting ta Murph not being here."

"I really am sorry Connor; I never meant to make you feel neglected. How about this: how about after I get off from work and make my daily visit to the hospital I come back here or you come to my place and we'll just hang out until I have to get up for work in the morning. We don't have to have sex every night, though I'm sure I wouldn't hear you complain if we did. We could just watch movies or go out to the bar…"

Lifting a hand, Connor gently traced along the side of my face, thinking about my offer.

"T'ink dat would be a good idea. Know it's kinda late ta be asking, but do ya have any plans fer next week?"

"What's next week?"

"Serious? Ya don't know dat next week is Valentine's Day?"

"Never really paid all that much attention to it. Matter of fact, never had any reason to give a rat's ass about that particular day. As far as I can tell it's just another commercial holiday for women to trick men into spending an absorbent amount of money just to end up with mediocre sex by night's end."

"Do ya have any plans?"

"Probably go down to the bar and get shit-faced before coming back here and sleeping alone. Why?"

Connor said nothing as a wide grin broke out across his face. I could see the proverbial wheels turning in his mind as he leaned in to capture my lips in his. Pushing me to my back again I could feel him growing hard inside of me, groaning a bit into the kiss I knew sleep was no longer a viable option for the remainder of the night. Connor had nothing but sex on his mind and he was going to be fucking me six ways to Sunday and leave me with a delicious soreness between my legs as he left to go to Confession in the morning.

It must've been close to dawn when I woke up again. From the time that Connor brought me up here, which must've been around 7 or 7:30 last night until about ten minutes, we had done nothing but make up for lost time. If we were not in his bed having sex then we were having it throughout the entire flat. Against the walls, against the door, in the shower, against the kitchen sink…Murphy's bed. I'd have to wash his sheets and blankets though before he finally came home.

Connor was nowhere to be found in the place, figuring he had left for church I got up from the bed on shaky legs and found my clothes scattered around. Getting dressed I headed to the fire escape to mull over everything that happened last night. I must've been too consumed in my thoughts when I failed to hear the window opening behind me and a veil of warmth encircling my body.

"Been out here long?"

"Since sun up." I answered, my gaze on the horizon fixed.

"Do ya regret last night?"

"No, I was just thinking about everything you told. About all those scars you got when you were growing up."

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"Fer what?"

"Taking the pain away. If only for a little bit, thank you for making it hurt a little less."

 _P.S. I have been working on a follow-up piece to_ Her Defenses _but it is still very much in its early stages and still undergoing constant revision. If you like what you've read thus far, make sure to follow or favorite so you can be among the first to get notification of when the first chapter goes up. The follow-up piece is tentatively titled_ Her Regrets.


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